Sex Survey. Bear with me.

Have you gotten laid this week? Not yet.

Ever had sex in a public place? Yes

Ever laugh during sex? Yes

Ever cry during sex? Yes

Do you like to cuddle after sex? Yes

Ever regret sex with someone? Yes…

Ever faked an orgasm? Yes!

Dirty talk, or STFU? Dirty talk…

Ever have unprotected sex? Yes… (*frown*)

Ever masturbate to your friend's significant other? Yes

Ever have a threesome? Yes

Ever watch porn during sex? Yes

Ever thought of someone else during sex? Yes

Has the condom ever broke? No

What is your most embarrassing sexual experience? Pussy farts fucking suck.

How old were you when you lost your virginity? 14

Do you like 69? No, too hard to concentrate…

Are you horny now? No…

Do you like sex in the car? I most certainly do.

Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? No

Ever have sex with a relative/friend's significant other? Yes

Ever been with a cheater? Yes

Toys, good or bad? Oh so good…

Lingerie? If it pleases hym.

Ever sleep with a co-worker? Ummm -- sorta, yeah.

Have you had sex in the following places – yes or no:
Park: Yes
Pool: Yes
Hot Tub: Masturbated. :)
Church Parking Lot: LOL -- no but it's on my to do list.
Cemetery: No
School (or parking lot): Yes
Parent's Bed (other person's): Yes
Your bed: Yes
Car: Yes
Public library: No
In a barn: No... WTF are you sayin??
In front of a window (curtains open): Yes
Picnic table : No
In the snow: No, sounds chilly.
In a tree or tree house: No but if you find me a tree house -- we'll talk.
Same room while a friend was doing it: Yes
Same room with a friend watching: No
Dining room/kitchen table: No
Kitchen counter: I think it may have started there...
Couch/chair: Yes
Pool table: No
On top of a bar: No - I'll leave that shit to Usher.
Front lawn in daylight: Shyeah, I think my neighbors hate me NOW...
On top of the roof: No but if I had a flat roof, I'd totally be on that.
On a bus (school/public/coach): No
Public restroom: No
Woods: Yes
Hood of a car: No, but it's on my bucket list.
Bathroom: Yes
Shower: Yes
Porch/deck/balcony: No
In a house with parent's home: Yes
At a party: No
On top of the washer/dryer: No - but turn that bitch on and see what's up....
With other people in the room: Yes
Field: No
Beach: Yes